Robin's Guide to The Friendzone
by mollipwarriorchic
Summary: Are you one of the many males or females stuck in the friend-zone? Well fear not, the smooth talking, suave, flirtatious-oh wait...what? This isn't Jason? Oh well. Read it anyway. Rated T for no good reason!


**1. Do things for her. Always help her and make sure to say 'yes'. Every time.**

"Robin!" Starfire flew into the common room, smiling as she did. Robin was sitting on their black leather sectional (A Christmas present from Daddy Bats) reading the newspaper, transitional glasses on his eyes.

"Yeah Star?" Robin laid down the newspaper, looking at her with a warm smile on his face.

"I have the request." Robin inwardly groaned. The last time she seemingly had an 'innocent request' he ended up cleaning her bathroom pipes. No no…not like that. He's not a plumber, so when she had to lean up behind him the pipe just _had_ to explode, getting them both wet. Imagine the teasing that he endured from his male counterparts.

"What is it, Star?"

And sure enough, he did get wet. And soapy. He had to help Starfire bathe Silkie…and even though she wouldn't admit it, she enjoyed wet and soapy Robin.

**2. You can't get out. Like, ever. Even when you're forward. Consider yourself stranded in a rock-boat in the middle of a gelatin ocean. **

"Star, can I talk to you?" Robin asked, sitting next to her on the sectional. She was bubbly and buoyant, placing her pet worm on the floor under her.

"Of course Robin." He involuntarily blushed at her tone. It sounded wistful. He like wistful.

"Uh…have you ever wanted be more than…friends?" He coughed, blushing a deep scarlet. Starfire's face was etched with a confused look as she stared at him.

"We are more than friends, are we not?" Now he started to cough, sputter, wheeze and grip at his neck.

"What?" She smiled warmly.

"We are best friends." Oh yeah. That. Robin kicked himself for not noticing.

"I mean…more than best friends." Starfire blushed for a second, then a look of understanding dawned on her.

"You want us to be…"

"Yes!"

"Even bigger best friends?" He groaned, placed a hand to his forehead, and walked away.

**3. Sexual awkwardness will always happen-even more so when you're a superhero (logic). Accept it. Take it with gratitude and class.**

"You friggin' idiots!" Robin was doing the exact opposite. He was blushing red, trying to act like it never happened, and being the most classless person in the room.

"Sorry dude…" Beast Boy tugged at his ear, inwardly rolling his eyes. He always overreacted bo matter what.

"Well; come get us!" What happened you ask? They were currently pressed together under a giant rock, Starfire's hands near certain…areas and Robin's hands on her chest.

**4. Deal with people shipping you and get angry about it, even when you want to be more.**

"Dude! Look at these comments!" Beast Boy chuckled as he scrolled through the Youtube comment section. And there's a reason you never go there.

"What is it?" Cyborg asked, walking over to the computer. He smiled in amusement. Raven appeared next to him, reading the comments and allowing the smallest smile of amusement to appear on her face.

"Wow…our fans are really crazy aren't they?" Raven chuckled. Beast Boy nodded as he scrolled down even further to the deepest depths of the comments.

"What's so funny?" Robin asked, stopping in his tracks as he read the first comment. It said: '**I bet they're sex life is awesome.'** The next comment was a grammar nazi, '***Their you idiot!' **And then a comment war was waged.

"So Robbie; is it true?" Cyborg smirked. Robin blushed. Sure he wanted to be more. But would he let these cronies know? No way in hell.

"Shut up! Shut-up! I'm going to…I'm going to sue the Internet! That's right; the whole Internet! I'll get Harvey Dent as my lawyer-"

"Silly boy…" Beast Boy monotonously droned, turning his head slowly to Robin.

"The Internet is engraved inside of us…it will never leave…" Cyborg turned his head, his red eye glowing even more.

"It is our generation…" The scariest thing was Raven. Her eyes were glowing red, her teeth were sharp, and her mouth was curved into a creepy half-smirk. Robin slowly edged out of the room.

**5. Accept the fact that you're never getting out, and embrace it. **

"Hey Star!" Robin was chipper and buoyant as he knocked on her door. This was the day! The day that he'd ask Starfire to go out with him. He could feel the universe silently cheer him on.

"Yes Friend Robin?" She slid open the door. _Friend_. He hated that word. From now on he'd be more than her friend. He'd be her everything. Her best friend, her soulmate, her-

"Uh…."

"Oh Silkie! No! Do not touch that!" The door slid closed as Robin slinked back to his room.

* * *

_First there was Robin's Guide to Villains...now there's this. Review and Favorite. Grammar Nazis and Flamers welcome. _


End file.
